I let it slip through my fingers.
For wont of frustration and sadness,
I threatened to relax my grip
And ease the pressure crushing my carpals.
The arthritic pain subsided
And I sighed of exctasy to feel
Warm blood thawing my frigid veins
Bringing life anew to a withered hand
That once shook to stroke black hair.
It was so smooth and so supple
I let it slip through my fingers.
My newfound divinity unclenched my fist
And calmed the troubled tremors,
Even as my memory faded away.
The reality I once engrossed within
Dissipated into a golden myth
Spoken of in reverence.
I carried on in a manner of health
Mental and physical
Nev
It's an addiction
A downright affliction
That burns me up inside.
The well runs dry
Under blistering skies
And my mouth is parched.
Sand blows in my face
Memories erased
Of all that was true.
Dirt grits in my teeth
A thorned Jesus wreath
Wrapped about my head.
The pain is unmatched
The surface but scratched
As to my torment.
Skin cut up silk
Tears soured milk
I don the nightly cowl.
Bones brittle clay
Blood slow decay
I'm shattering inside.
Topples and falls
Busting my walls
Something's pushing in.
Collapse out of breath
Face final death
At the hand of myself.
I do this to me
I refuse to see
I will not listen to y
Neon signs glare ghostly in the mist
Lazy fog settles at the ankles
While oppressive clamour of nightclubs
Ladens the crisp air with cacophony.
Street lights bathe unfeeling cement below
Rivulets of drainage weave to sewer grates
Echoing a minute waterfall drowned out
By rushing sportscars tearing up the road.
The Rack is alive with activity
Human and inhuman dramas unfolding
Under a skyline moon protective of its breed.
Grandma turns uncomfortably in her slumber
Dreaming of leather jackets and bicycle chains.
The faint of heart do not survive here
Where steel girders scaffold vacant lots of
Rusted cars piled high in scrapyards
You take from me breath of life. You cut so deep I bleed by knife. So unto you I lay my strife.
Sick by mind and sick by soul, your heart is black as deepest coal. To be free from you, that is my goal.
I flee by night into the light. Why should I put up a fight, when leaving you feels oh so right?
Anger and hate, hear my cries. I wish for naught but your demise, for it is you that I despise.
End it now so I may leave. Free your hold so I can breathe. Apart from you I will achieve.
Until that time, 'tis you I hate. For you're the one who locks the gate. To be chained to you, is that my fate?
This love of ours, it is a lie. I se
I was simply minding my own business
Laughing, drinking, having a good time
When my eyes struck her
And I stopped laughing.
My heart pushed into my chest
My hand dropped from the glass
Numb at what I saw a few feet away.
She was you, five years down the line.
Silken black raven hair
Full body, alluring eyes, sweet smile
And she drove my mind to think
Picturing you there
Standing in her shoes
Smiling with her lips.
The crowd around meant nothing anymore
I simply could not bring myself to look away
I stared for minutes, feeling what I have only felt
For you.
Memories flooded through me, both painful and joyful
Urging me to to
I can see the world
In all shades and hues
Spinning visions
Panoramic and grand
Deep and serious
Forming, fading, focused
Inside my mind.
The easel is surreal
And perfect.
Never has orange, purple or green
Been so displayed as it is now.
My thoughts capture the pure essence
Of every scene that finds its way
Briskly to the fore of my consciousness.
Whispers and song
Resound in my ears
Despite surrounding silence.
Ghostly echoes so serene
Any beat, any rhythm
Plays itself out in my mind.
Melodies wrought from finest steel
Singing gold and a chorus of silver
Laces my being with graceful music.
Lulling me to sleep
Or wakin
Stop and think
Just for a moment,
No longer,
About who I am.
Don't think too much.
Just long enough
To feel that fleeting sensation
Of what I am.
In that split second
You should experience
Joy, sadness, pain
Love, tenderness, disdain
And a gentle hand
A warm embrace
Comforting you.
The emotion is complex
And utterly satisfying.
Think of all I do for you
All I have done
All I will do
For you.
Feel it and immerse yourself.
Let that caring love
Sink in
And invade your soul.
Hold it there
For a split second
And release it.
If all is true
As it should be
That feeling will stay.
As long as I'm alive
That feeling will
A stable boy
Is all I have ever been
And all I have ever known.
I stack the hay
I feed the trough
I groom the horses
I sift through dung.
I live a simple life.
At least, I used to.
When I saw the princess
Stride in on her ivory steed
I was in rapture.
I blinked once
Twice
Three times
And opened my eyes to the world.
She was no dream
Concocted in the recesses of
My imagination.
She was real.
Flesh and blood.
She dismounted
Onto the same ground
Upon which I have trodden
For all my life.
She was the same as I.
Or so it seemed.
It was then I saw
Her raven hair,
So straight and perfect;
Her face,
So clean and smooth;
Your red eyes drip ivory tears
Muffled sobs and shaking shoulders
Make my victory sweeter.
Do you hurt as I have?
Cry with all your might
Let it all out
Loosen your emotional bonds
Unshackle those wounded feelings
And make me smile
Sinister and fulfilling
To know
At last
You are undergoing my pain.
See what you did to me?
It all came back to you
Blew up in your face
Your childish games
Teasing, flirting, laughing
Why won't you laugh now?
I am
For I can now mock you
Gloat over my triumphant siege
Sneer in your creased face
And revel in the backlash.
How does it feel?
Good for me, my prescious
Damn good.
But your head
Worldly visions of hurt and of rust
Care and love and hope turn to dust.
Everything's black to these ill, hollow eyes
That have witnessed the extent of all Mercy's lies
Her promises, gifts, caresses and prayers.
If the truth's to be known: nobody cares.
Widen the crack
Deepen the hole
Pile it on
Burden my soul
Dirt in the mouth
It tastes good to me
Wallowing wretch
Divine misery
I've tried to cope with these changing times;
The anguish, the rape, the murder and crimes.
But it does me no good to wish well and hope
For the guilt doesn't come off with water or soap.
I'm dead to the world, yet a part of it all
I can't help it h