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About Deviant Falling inward...Male/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 14 Years
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Turning a Deaf Ear
My rasping voice
Echoes rage from a dry throat
Expired after hours of drilling
Word after word into your thick skull.
God dammit, you just don\'t listen.
Do you?
I\'ve got nothing left;
I started off pulling my punches,
And ended up pushing my weight into
Every expletive I flung at you.
Now I\'m on my knees,
Grabbing at my cracked, dry throat,
Coughing and choking
As my face turns red
And your ignorance eats me from inside out.
Are you even listening?
Do you even care?
What will it take
To get my message through to you
So you can understand my problems?
You turn a deaf ear
And flash a coy smile
That makes me want to strangle you
Until your grin twists and contorts
Into the same grimace I bear.
You make me want to hurt you, you know.
Only by cutting you open
Can I drive my point home.
But that\'s what you want
Isn\'t it?
Well, don\'t wait for that day
Because it isn\'t coming.
Not from me.
I\'m returning your callousness,
Your cold-hearted apathy,
Dropping it at your prescious feet
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 0
The Need and the Sickness
God how you thrash beneath me
Rage in climax
Nails raking skin of my back
Sweat drunk of liquor
Christ your screams are loud
Gasps and grunts
Sticky honey skin
Sweet sugar of infection
Pissed on arousal inside you
Friction heat eruption
Too much to bear
Split you open and laugh
Feed my animal lust
Quench your bestial thirst
Massacre morals
Inch by inch of feral abuse
Chafe and push harder
Collapse the strain of corpses
Force you back
Crush into matress wet
Drain you and crack
Degenerates to a fuck
Love lost in aggression
Out with it and in with you
Vile acts of seduction
So much for us
Broken in orgasm
Rape you on command
Rape me just as kind
Illness in my mind
What have we done?
What have we lost?
What have we become?
Spread you wide and violate.
What dirt we are.
What offal, what dung.
Stiff and hard again.
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 3
I don\'t understand.
You speak my language
But I don\'t understand.
You show me things familiar,
Sounds I\'ve heard before,
You move in ways I know,
I still don\'t understand.
You express all my feelings,
Re-live times long past,
You know all that I do,
I still don\'t understand.
You\'re with me in the morning,
All the way to bed,
You live right beside me,
I still don\'t understand.
You present us a future,
We cannot deny,
The time still flashes 12:00.
I will never understand.
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 1 7
Self Decay
True to my word
I dominate.
Excuse you
For reading out
Wrong dictionary
Foreign tongue
And sickfelt mind.
Blame me not
Your trouble is yours
For misleading
The leader.
Accept now
For what she is.
Bear me the child
I form
From wicked ways
And poisonous lips.
Dry those eyes
And hold my fist
Close to bear.
Waters cannot wash away
Sediment in your soul
Erosions of me
Feeding your shores.
Tyranny not my governing
But for representative stress
Seated in your mind.
I am not your destroyer
But your savior.
Look at me from the other side
Cracked mirror and shade.
Then you\'ll see
Truth belied
By your own knotted tongue.
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 3
Cage of Man
Holding without from within.
A prison not for body, but heart and mind.
Within the cell is within Oneself.
Freedom within needs not a key from without.
A need for the external
Is no longer internal
When the within
Is without.
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 2
Two Eyes One Sun
Sun sets in the lavendar skies,
A brilliant picture of grace
The day lays down, far off in the West
And the moon begins her climb.
Docile breezes pick up speed
Gusts of air race by my face
Carried from a far off crystal lake
Reflecting the sun one last time.
Sweet scents drift on those winds
Delicate and frail, teasing my nose
And with the last ray of light, it ends
Turning to emptiness and calm.
Stars once faded now shine proudly
Shadows once dormant creep over the rose
Solitary and afraid in the garden
Petals so brittle they crumble in palm.
The world changes overnight, that minute
When the sun dies and gives birth to moon.
Things once beautiful twist perverse
Trickery of darkness and fear.
Soft blades of green grass contort
To black, biting tendrils of earth. A loon
Cries out on the water; once melody
Bringing of joy, now weeping of tear.
Night\'s mantle beds down over everything
Laying a sick blanket on holy ground
Luring out our deepest nightmares
Deceiving our minds so suttle.
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 1
Extension of a Metaphor
Despite blistering sun and
Choking sand
I pursue the penultimate with vigor
Coursing through me in waves.
Three leagues to go.
I can feel the prize already; so smooth,
I can smell the aroma; so gentle,
I can hear the whispers; so soft,
I can see the grace before me;
I can taste it on my lips.
Two leagues to go.
Energy ebbs from my body
Slowing my drive
But not my will. I continue
In search of that life-giving
My burning eyes catch sight of the temple
In the distance, only
One league to go.
Race and scramble
Shuffle and shamble
Trip and stumble
Crack and crumble
A yard too far
A step too late
And the temple is consumed by Fate.
Wide eyes catch the ancient stonework
Breaking and tumbling to the sand.
Architecture to decay in seconds.
All that remains
After all was sought
Was a pedestal
And naught.
Time had come for me.
I betrayed it all these years.
It was tugging at my frame,
Beckoning my name
Yet I pushed on; step,
I couldn't go on.
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 3
The Living Atrocity
Thought sowed to deed
Rebirth anew
Hatred my creed
Mindful of you
Cripple the true
Mouthful to feed
All that I do
Evil is need.
Lift up an eye
Look in my mind
Exhale a sigh
One of my kind
Stripped of the rhind
Bound up in lye
Pleasures I find
Wicked to die.
Weaver do knit
Cushion of lace
Wade through the shit
Smeared on my face
Sanctified place
Suckle the tit
Losing the race
Rock bottom hit.
Blood stained cement
Anger in fear
Scrape, bust and dent
Never a tear
Adrenalin sheer
Twisted and bent
Warden come near
Another life spent.
Puzzle unwrap
Push back and fight
Alleyway trap
Spectre in sight
End of the blight
Rage lay to nap
Gunned down this night
Soul runs like sap.
Angels now come
Devils do call
Savior to some
Villain to all.
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 2
Calm Winter Morning by mastiffic Calm Winter Morning :iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 4 Mastiff Desktop May 03 by mastiffic Mastiff Desktop May 03 :iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 3 Moribundi I by mastiffic Moribundi I :iconmastiffic:mastiffic 4 5 Quiet Industry II by mastiffic Quiet Industry II :iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 1 02 Grand Am Interior by mastiffic 02 Grand Am Interior :iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 3
Stormy Weather
I leaned against the sill,
Looking out at the skies;
Tumultuous grey
Moody and brooding.
The canvas of dark clouds
Carried their own weight
Felt upon my hardened shoulders
Dragging my emotions down
With the droplets
Pelting the window before me.
Carried on moist-laden air
A bellowing thunder
Crept from the countryside
Pounced over my roof
And raced off
Just as quickly.
Where did such power originate?
Where I am, safe, I can only wonder.
If the roar is so loud now
It must surely deafen
Were I to be beneath its source.
My eyes shift westward
Catching a streak of lightning
Thread-thin on the horizon
Which disappears in a blink
A short-lived display of raw energy.
Somewhere many kilometers away
The ground heaves, splits and burns
Cracked in two by the chiseled might
As the lightning whips the earth
Brutally reaffirming its omnipotence.
The wind bolts in fear
Straining the branches in its way
Scattering the rain that riots
Straight down
To cleanse the dirt.
A massive assault of minute raind
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 0
Dementia Unfurl
I can't hold the high
Consigned to the lows
Keeping up pace
But moving so slow.
I lift myself up
With joy and with glee
Only to fall
Down on one knee.
Race through the clouds
Drink up the sun
Trip on the moon
And lose all the fun.
Why can't I stay
Up there with God?
Why must I drown
Buried in sod?
One minute happy
The next minute sad
This damn cycle
It makes me so mad.
I'd love to smile
Forever and more
But reality kicks in;
Beaten and sore.
What am I missing?
I'm missing the spark.
It's hidden deep down,
Deep down in the dark.
Why can't I hold it,
And bear it to chest?
Why does it come
Only with rest?
Dreams and visions
Offer me peace;
Linings of silver,
Wrapped up in fleece.
But I know I must wake
To face a new day
Born of depression
And skies bluish gray.
Curse this disease
That swallows up life.
Fuck this insanity
This madness, this strife.
Give me what's mine,
Long overdue.
Take all this shit
And all this crap, too.
Bust out and scream,
"Why do it to me?".
Curl up and cry,
"Why ca
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 1
Poetic Injustice
A dove once flew
On the wings of inspiration;
Imagination and
Now it drowns
In the undertow of analysis;
Dissection and
The chiseled statue
Of Olympian beauty
Now erodes
With the passing of time.
Too many have run their
Sweaty palms
Over its smooth surface.
Too many have
Tagged and
Catalogued every aspect
Of its existance.
Beauty succumbs to inspection
And the mightiest colossus
Under the scrutiny of
The beholders.
A once proud obelisk is
Torn asunder by the
Probing of its minute
Only the master knows;
The master creates.
The audience should enjoy,
Not criticize,
The work.
Who can pass judegement
On that which is not
On trial?
Who takes a complete
And reduces it to mere
The joy is the building
And the viewing
Of such architecture.
A thought or cornerstone
A pattern or design
Cut to make way for the purpose of beauty.
The mortar of creativity
Is borne with the word.
Microscopic and meiopic vision
Search for the put
:iconmastiffic:mastiffic 0 0


mors petalum II by cugar mors petalum II :iconcugar:cugar 838 87 Un by cugar Un :iconcugar:cugar 78 55 Mors Petallum III by cugar Mors Petallum III :iconcugar:cugar 458 48 sky petalum updated by cugar sky petalum updated :iconcugar:cugar 37 27 Dragonlance 5 by JPRart Dragonlance 5 :iconjprart:JPRart 1,923 218 mors petalum by cugar mors petalum :iconcugar:cugar 399 49 Kindred Spirit- the Panther by Drakenborg Kindred Spirit- the Panther :icondrakenborg:Drakenborg 229 70 aedes by cugar aedes :iconcugar:cugar 135 75 untitled II by cugar untitled II :iconcugar:cugar 367 156 over the top in black-white by burkina over the top in black-white :iconburkina:burkina 5 32 Absinthina by korridan Absinthina :iconkorridan:korridan 13 22 yay sparkles by lilfrog yay sparkles :iconlilfrog:lilfrog 30 45 Betwhee by enayla Betwhee :iconenayla:enayla 3,828 546



mors petalum by cugar mors petalum :iconcugar:cugar 399 49



Falling inward...
Current Residence: SW PA, USA
Favourite genre of music: Alternative / Vocal Trance
Favourite style of art: Digital Abstract
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: WinAmp
Shell of choice: 7.62mm NATO
Wallpaper of choice:
Skin of choice: Leah's
Favourite cartoon character: Master Shake
There hasn't been anything new here in a very long time, but I have cleaned up a little and classified my writing better.
Nowadays I just look at what others have created, having lost my muse some time ago.

Ichi ni san yon go roku shichi hachi kyu ju


Add a Comment:
DagothUhr Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2003
ty for the fav :)
lolly Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2003
Most people don't buy Playboy for the articles.
I think that about sums up my stance on the visual art vs. prose problem.

:lmoa: too damn funny and right on!
catlover Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2003
congrats on your 200 pageviews!
volantis Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
Thanks for your comments...they're much appreciated. I agree with you over 'substanceless', but couldn't find a word that meant the same and fitted :-/
korridan Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2003
thanx for the comment and the fav on Absinthina [link] , i truly appreciate it.
eking Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2003
Thanx for the nice comment. :) (Smile)

Yeah those patterns are the thing I liked about it, and probably the only reason I submitted it on DA.

;) (Wink)
nalhcal Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2003  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the comment, you pointed out some very good points that I missed. It is so helpful when someone is honest. :) (Smile) Thanks.
oxygenburnt Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2003   Interface Designer
yup got meh an icon :D (Big Grin) n' thanks for the comment XD

id comment on your work, but i dont sound to smart when talking about poetry :P (Lick)
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